Back to school anxiety. Strategies to support your SEN child.

Happy new school year? Along with new shoes and pencil cases, ‘back to school’ can mean new and heightened levels of anxiety for many children (and parents). For those with special educational needs (SEN) the start of the new school year, after the long summer holidays, can be a particularly challenging time.

Any kind of change and unpredictability can be overwhelming for a child with SEN and/or neurodiversity, and the new academic year piles on plenty of both. There will be whole new routines to learn, expectations to meet, unfamiliar places to navigate, and new faces to get to know and connect with.

Becoming highly anxious or dysregulated at this time, worrying about how they will cope, is very common and completely understandable. But there are ways to help your child manage their feelings and behaviours.

Acknowledge your child’s feelings
Firstly, it’s important to listen to your child’s concerns and accept them as valid. Agree with them that feeling nervous does make sense. And try to avoid saying things like “you’ll be fine”; it’s natural to want to reassure, but to your child this will sound dismissive.

Establish good routines
As soon as you can, before term starts, reintroduce a term-time sleep schedule. If your child gets into the habit of going to bed and waking up on time for school, it’s one less change to worry about.

Prepare and rehearse
Practice some things a few times before the start of term. For example, putting on their uniform, getting changed into their PE kit, or walking to school. Introducing your child’s new routine in small, manageable pieces will help make them feel less ‘unknown’ and overwhelming. Introduce visual checklists for getting ready in the morning.

Use social stories
Create a ‘social story’ to take your child through key details of their school day. A social story could include things like what to expect at school: how to get to the classroom, where the toilet is, when they have lunch, who their key teachers will be etc. Your school SENCo will be able to support you with this, so do ask.

Communicate with school
Make sure you have shared your child’s specific needs with school. This can be a short, clear ‘profile’, covering your child's triggers, sensory needs, and calming strategies for teachers.

Make contact with your child’s form teacher sooner rather than later. The teacher will have responsibility for many other children besides yours, but it is important that you can have an open, honest dialogue when necessary.

If you don’t already know the SENCo at your child’s school, get to know them as soon as possible, as they will be your child’s advocate. Keep checking in with them, as your child and his/her needs can change over time.

Ask for transition arrangements
If you feel your child will benefit, you could ask school for additional ‘transition’ arrangements. For example, allowing them to come home early for the first week, or to spend time outside the classroom, in a quiet space.

Pack a comforting item
You could pack a small, familiar item from home in their bag for reassurance. Or a fidget toy, if this would help your child manage their anxiety. Make school aware, to check that it will be allowed and not confiscated.

Monitor behaviour at home
Make a note of your child’s behaviour at home in the first few weeks: have there been any changes? Any concerns? Does this tally with their behaviour in school? Sometimes children hold everything in at school and then become dysregulated at home. Speak to the SENCo if you notice this.

Minimise pressure after school
When you collect your child from school, you can gently encourage them to share their experiences, but try not to bombard them with detailed questions about their day, such as: “What was the best thing about today?” “Who did you play with at school today?”.

Raise any concerns
Speak to your child’s SENCo about any concerns you may have. He or she will be able to advise you about further action that can be taken to support your child. This could include interventions, such as small reading groups carried out by school staff or assessments by outside professionals (Speech and Language Therapist, Educational Psychologist, etc.).